Alabama Versus Auburn; My 10 Favorite Iron Bowl Jokes
November 20, 2009
This is Iron Bowl week in Alabama.
The Iron Bowl is the yearly rivalry game between the University of Alabama and Auburn University.
It is the annual brother versus brother, sister versus sister, husband versus wife, father versus son, mother versus daughter in state rivalry game.
There is no other rivalry games in the nation that even comes close in the shear magnitude and consequences to the fans of both schools. The winner can walk with his head held high for the next year, the loser must slink away and await those consequences.
What the rest of the nation doesn’t understand is that Alabama and Auburn fans literally hate each other. I am not exaggerating, they really do not like each other one bit.
Oh, they may work together and even go to church together and they may even be part of the same family and love each other, but during Iron Bowl week all that changes.
During Iron Bowl Week the tension ratchets up a notch or two and everybody’s jaws get a little tight and all the small talk goes away.
They may pick at each other and even tell jokes, but they do so knowing full well that they may be just one sarcastic comment away from a full fledged screaming match or even a fist fight.
It hasn’t always been this way.
I am not sure exactly when the Alabama/Auburn game took a turn for the worse, other than to say it has taken a turn for the worse somewhere in the past generation. It seemed as though it was a little more fun way back when I was growing up.
Something has changed or maybe I’ve just changed?
Teasing has turned into trash talk and jokes have turned into insults.
Years ago it seemed as though I heard a new Alabama/Auburn joke almost every day.
I always loved hearing them and telling them especially on the golf course or while tailgating. There were some really great ones, I wished I had wrote them all down.
Here are my 10 favorite Auburn jokes:
10) Where was O.J. Simpson heading that day in the white Bronco?
To Auburn, because they would never look for a great football player there.
9) How do we know the toothbrush was invented at Auburn?
Because if it were invented at Alabama it would be called the teethbrush.
What is the difference between an Auburn fan and a bag of manure?
The bag.
7) What do you call an Auburn player with a National Championship ring?
A thief!
6) How do you compliment an Auburn fan?
You say, nice tooth!
5) How do you get an Auburn graduate off of your porch?
You pay him for the pizza.
4) Why wasn’t Jesus born in Auburn?
Because the Lord couldn’t find three wise men or a virgin there.
3) Why couldn’t Auburn hold Drivers Education and Sex Education on the same day?
It was wearing out the mule.
2) What do you call a great football team at Auburn?
Visitor
1) My favorite joke goes something like this:
During football practice one day an Alabama player walked out on the practice field and made an obscene gesture towards Gene Chizik and then ran into the locker room.
Coach Chizik got mad and told his two biggest linemen to go into the locker room and teach that Alabama player a lesson.
The players ran into the locker room and there was a lot of loud crashing and banging and no one came out.
Chizik got even more irate and ordered the whole defensive Line into the locker room, telling them to teach that Alabama player a lesson that he would never forget.
Again there was a lot of loud crashing banging but again, no one came out.
Finally in frustration, Chizik tells the whole defense to get in there and don’t come out until they taught the Alabama player a lesson.
The whole defense runs into the locker room, and again there was loud crashing and banging and then there was a dead silence.
All of a sudden, one player staggers out and yells, “watch out, it’s a trap, there is two of them!”
Feel free to add to add your favorite Alabama/Auburn joke below.
Roll Tide!
Read more College Football news on BleacherReport.com